HOLDING ON TO HOPE: Kori's Story

This is the first post of this series! Kori is my younger sister. She is my only sibling and we have always been incredibly close. She is my best friend, my accountability partner, the peace-maker of our family (while somehow also being extremely direct), and one of my greatest prayer warriors. She is great at making people feel like they are the funniest person in the room because she will laugh at anything…and her laugh is loud (if you’ve heard my laugh, it’s louder than mine).

When we were younger, I always felt like I needed to watch out for her. As we’ve gotten older, I find, more and more often, that she is the one looking out for me. She has an incredible amount of patience and wisdom and I enjoy any time spent with her. I am so proud of her decision to share her story and so thankful that she has allowed me to share it with you.

In a brief description, share the story of how and when you began your relationship with Jesus.

I grew up in church and began my relationship with Jesus when I was about 8. I was in my Sunday school classroom and I remember them sharing the gospel and asking who wanted to accept Jesus as their savior. Afterwards I told my parents and they asked a few questions to make sure I understood.

When did you first realize you struggle with _______ (anxiety, depression, eating disorder, strained relationships, etc.)?

I realized I struggle with an eating disorder, all throughout middle school, high school and some of college, after a few years of college.

After realizing your struggle, do you remember the first times you experienced those feelings?

I remember not wanting to admit it or tell anyone because I was embarrassed. Once I did share I had people that kept me accountable which I knew was good for me but also I hated. I hated the way I looked and didn’t want to eat too much. It was also something I could control and was almost like a game to make it all day without eating anything.

Did the realization of your struggle have an impact on the way you view yourself as a follower of Christ?

I don’t think so. I think I tried to think more about how God viewed me, that I was perfect the way he made me and he wasn’t looking at the numbers on a scale or the way I saw myself in the mirror (which was completely not accurate at all).

Tell about the height of your struggle.

I think it was worst in college. I would workout at least 2 times a day, if not more, and only eat a handful or chocolate chips or goldfish. I was really good at making it look like I was eating when I was out with friends but I really didn’t eat at all. There were only a few people that really knew what was going on and would ask if I actually was eating. Sometimes I would tell the truth but most of the time I would lie. My friends caught on and started asking specifically what I would eat in a day to make sure I would eat.

What are some ways you feel you have (or started to) overcome your struggle?

I shared with my close friends what was going on and started to memorize verses of how God created me and sees me.

How did friends/family help or encourage you in your struggle?

They would ask if/what I was eating to help make sure I was actually eating.

How can you see God working in your life despite (or because of) your struggle?

I have so many people that love me and care about me that have helped me to overcome this struggle. I also think I’m able to view my body differently. People don’t love me because of the way I look they love me because of the person God had created me to be. My body is never going to be up to the standards I want it to be especially after having kids. But it has been incredible to see how amazing God has created the female body and God is not going to accept me based off of what I look like.

What are your go-to Bible verses/passages?

I think I wish I would have done more research during the height of my struggle. I used verses but now looking back I think I might have taken them out of context.

Do you have any songs that encourage you on days you are struggling?

Promises by Maverick City I don’t know that I have specific songs but I do think I am affected more by the lyrics of a song now. I think I really meditate on the words and the truth of the gospel in songs. I know that’s probably not as helpful but I’m not really sure how to explain it.

What advice or words of encouragement would you give to someone who is going through a similar struggle?

Tell someone. Yes it might be uncomfy but God hasn’t created us to go through life alone. He created us to have others to go through life with and carry each other's burdens.

*All photos and answers to the questions above has been posted with permission.